The Good Man

This is the year 2013 and reality has sunk into my bones that there's a huge shortage of good men out there and with technology constantly breaking new ground there's also less imagination left, however I can't deny that there will always be a good man out there, problem is finding them and keeping them.

In my younger days I was easily manipulated by the man who possessed power and wasn't afraid to show it, the man who would woo me with materialistic things that would entice my hungry and sometimes wild imagination, however what was really lacking in those times was honesty, I was practically being bought and I eventually stopped liking it. In the world we're living in money is a constant obstacle that can put pressure on the strongest of characters, we all long for financial security and peace of mind which sometimes may come in the form of a man who comes bearing these lovely gifts and you end up making a choice of convenience instead of following your heart.

I am one of the toughest people to date, I'm not shy about the physical things but when it comes to my heart there's too many obstacles to get through and after the first one most guys (if not all) give up and move on, I'm not saying that I'm immune to love or be loved however I'm no longer as naïve as I used to be, most of what's on a mans mind is pretty clear and instead of letting him get all of me, I'll choose to give him a moment he'll think about from time to time while I reserve the best of me for me, in the end we both win – with regards to the physical.

Now back in the day men had to work really hard to get the attention of their love interest, they'd do the silliest things in order to make that person smile which would be more than enough for them and they'd leave tomorrow for a possible kiss (on the cheek)...However nowadays the only flowers you get are the ones in emoticon form and communication is more exciting in pictures and BBM status messages, some need to face the facts that his reputation might be more exciting than you. 

Now let's do a complete 360 and talk about the man we want to get, I don't want people to get me wrong on this post, I don't expect the poor guy to fight with a lion to prove his love to me or even to prove it at all (totally negotiable) however there will be expectations which will set him apart from the scrubs. Personally all I want is for them to be real, to come as they are and provide me that emotional, mental and spiritual happiness, someone who won't be afraid of me or my way of thought, someone who can indulge in a new adventure and motivate me to rise above, someone who can listen to me sing sad songs and wipe the tears from my face...Yes boys and girls, I don't want much, I just want someone who isn't scared to wear new shoes and take care of them for years to come, even plants need nurturing and they don't ask for too much. Everything takes effort but everything that took effort becomes worthwhile and the mission you had getting to happy seems more necessary.

One thing to always remember is that when you got yourself a good man, to never become what you didn't like with your previous partners, sometimes they leave traces and tendencies we pick up without knowing and we end up being the exact replica of what we were continuously trying to avoid...Be real, free and allow yourself to be loved by that man...

Dear Ex-best Friend

Dear Ex-Best Friend

We met in High School around 2004 and we hit it off instantly, you were my first real gay friend I could tell anything to and you were the best company at that time. We were always there for each other, we fought each others battles and we were deeply involved with each other's familes...in fact you were one of the few people my grandmother approved of and it felt good to have that confirmation from the Boss Lady.

We Matriculated together and you were the one who convinced me to go to Johannesburg with you, in actual fact I remember not being too sure if I could make that leap seeing as that I had never left Cape Town or my grandmother before and this also meant I would actually be alone without supervision, not much work experience and about less than R3000 in my pocket, however we made it work and I was fine because you were my bestie and we were doing this together.

Before Johannesburg there were certain episodes we went through, you always chose to direct your anger towards the nearest person and that sadly used to be me, however as your friend I took it upon myself to console you...If we ever went out and I happened to like a guy by the end of the night he was on your arm and I let that always slide, no one can be blamed for that but that's where I started noticing a trend. Believe it or not I stopped being jealous after the third time you did this because I got to know the guys you were involved with and we too became friends, the problem was when you broke up with them, it was usually because you felt victimized by them or that they weren't right for you, I'll admit, as the person that used to have both views of the relationship there were times when they were wrong and most times when YOU were wrong but never admitted to it.

Our stay in JHB was pleasant until your mother came and lived with us, she turned you around completely, she blamed me for so many untrue things and the worst part is that you believed me – back then I was grateful for that but it was also the beginning of the end because you chose sides and unfortunately for our friendship more events took place which made us drift apart emotionally and on a friendship level.

The day our friendship ended a new one began and still is in place, I'm not saying any of this to spite you but to make it clear that although you still blame me for the greatest decision in both our lives it worked out for the best in my opinion, all these events were leading up to that day, tears were shed...In all honesty you have a lot of growing up to do but I wish you well in all your endeavors...I'm not the bad person you've told people I am...I was just a better friend in the end.

Dear Ex

Dear Ex High-School Sweetheart...

Everything was so damn good in the beginning, your love and attention was really required and needed at that time, I had so many doubts about you but you gave me no indication that I'd be hurt by you in the end so I began to trust you. I remember the first day we met, I was naïve and silly, you were confident and handsome so naturally I took a liking to you however at that time you had a man and I was content being friends with you whilst I was secretly harboring a crush on you.

As time went by and things turned sour for your boyfriend (then) you finally saw me and I felt special. You used to write me letters while we were in class together and I returned the favor, I couldn't care less what others had to say or think because I was content with your attention. You had a different plan however with me, you wanted me physically and I caught onto that a little sooner than you thought so then you switched it up and played with my emotions, made me feel like the bad guy and constantly kept dropping hints about your other life. I took it like a pro because I convinced myself that you were the one and even if you weren't I'd prove everyone wrong and make you the one if I had to, however I just could never bring myself to give you what you truly wanted, I guess I wanted to see if it would make me worth it to you...How wrong I really was...

I remember that night on the beach where you requested a moment alone with me to try and convince me that you'll finally let everyone know that we was kicking it...however I became boo-boo the fool once again when I heard about all your other shenanigans...oh yes, that letter you wrote me detailing the things you were doing behind my back was discovered by my grandmother – she asked questions and afterwards burned the letter, I'm so glad she did...she never liked you anyway :)

So to end this off, when I told you I was going to Johannesburg to start a new life you asked me a question “what about me?”...I could've told you to go to hell or better yet just removed you from my life entirely, instead I chose to keep you around so you could truly see how happy I was and I think you did...wherever you are, I know you regret hurting me...but not to worry, I forgave you a long time ago...However this is me reminding you of what took me years to forget...

Father's Day - Shout Out

This past weekend a lot of families celebrated Father's Day which I think is a beautiful celebration of the good fathers out there that take care of their families and raise their children every step of the way...I simply forgot to wish my own the happy day and this was also partially to the fact that I have always reserved this day for my Grandmother, she in my eyes was both the father and mother I never had and no one else deserves the congratulations as much as she does.

Although this day is reserved for the good fathers out there I think the good grannies and good mothers out there can also take something from it, raising a child as a single parent is not easy, you have the worries and concerns of your child's well-being always at the forefront of your mind and I know most parents worry what their children would think of them if they were to fail them at fulfilling their parental duties...Bringing them into the world is easy (sometimes), raising them however is the real mission.

#Comet Family - Teaser 2

                                              More to come soon :)

#Comet Family: Close-up with Gilbert

Gilbert is one of the founders of the Comet Family and we start to get to know a little bit more about him in the close-up video below, please stay tuned and support our Portuguese import as he dazzles us with his charm, enjoy:

You can follow him on Twitter: Gilbert Twitter

#CometFamily: Teaser 1

 

Featuring:

Cici Stylez

Gilbert

Leen-Kahn

Kyle Clark

Dane Clark

The Comet Family: Coming Soon

Screw lightning...something bigger is on the way

#Staytuned

The Survivor

 

There aren't many people I really look up to but there are many I admire and for those I admire it's always for their strength and resilience...We as people go through so many trials and tribulations to get to our own personal goals or even to get away from whatever was bringing us down into a pool of negativity...



What is a survivor? and what does that mean in this day and age? I for one consider myself a survivor...not because I survived the bigger things but because I know how to prepare for the little setbacks life continues to throw at us and trust me, as little as they are they can do some serious long-term damage. I look at the current news today and what I see saddens me, people being beaten up for being who they want to be, women being violated and humilated, children being born into a country going through famines and war...I look at these situations and thank my lucky stars that I got a different start to my life, it wasn't easy I tell you...I've slipped so many times but I continue to remind myself of the bigger picture.
My grandmother used to always tell me to keep myself grounded and not let my head get the better of me now at that time I never quite understood what she meant – I mean this woman would have fat conversations with homeless people and drag me all around interesting places with interesting people and I remember getting so irritated with her because I used to think they stank and were not worth the time, but she showed me a different side to these people, believe it or not they were barely surviving but with what little they had they were coming along somehow and I could never see myself doing the same, even after the time I had a huge blow-out with my grandmother and I ran away from home in hopes that she'd leave me to die in some ditch but that woman had superhuman powers and when she found me I was reminded of how selfish and bratty I had acted, here I was not yet seeing a very big picture...Just lil ole me and my world living in a bubble I felt was too small and I needed it to pop and indeed it did...
In my teens, I met the wrong crowd of people, they lured me in with kindness and the party-attitude and as naïve as I was I fell for it, I always told myself to see the good in people regardless of what people thought of them but as much as my instincts kept telling me that this was a bad idea I told myself this was the freedom I was craving, away from responsibility, away from my family and into a world of my own and so it began the rise and fall. I listen to that Destiny's Child song “Survivor” and all the memories come rushing back like a flood...I think my biggest moment of maturity and understanding of life was when my mother died. I was never close to her as much as my brothers were and we had a distant relationship from the start ( but that's all I'm going to give you nosey people) and the day she passed away I didn't shed a single tear, not at the funeral, not a year later and not the year after that because I was too busy playing Big Brother to my younger brothers and handling my grandmothers affairs, I was being a grown up 12-year old boy, it wasn't easy but I was up for the challenge and for most of my life up until recently I was always taking care of someone else and making them my full responsibility leaving little time for me to act my own age...I've dealt with much more than I will allow myself to blog about – it's too early to give my bio out just yet but I have taken all these experiences and formulated a tool for myself and created the stronger individual I am now and I see that in all those other people who walk around with big boulders on their shoulder...I see some who put on these masks of plastic fakeness hiding behind their looks thinking that no one can see beneath the facade, but some (not many) can see and those beautiful individuals I consider and today still call friends.
With love...

P.S. - the track that inspired this post, Enjoy :)

Mrs.Carter and the Beyhive Part 2

So remember when I blogged a post about the Beyhive? As promised here is the 2nd segment to that post, enjoy below and please show your support to them :)

I absolutely love these! I'll certainly be adding my own Youtube cover soon but for now go #BEYHIVE


With Love...

~ The Kahn

We have a new addition!!!

She's a singer...she's a Female Hip-Hop DJ...Ladies and gentlebodies,I am happy to announce that we have another Author added to this blog and she goes by none other than the name Zai Maya.

I've known Zai since the days when we used to work at a Corporate company in Johannesburg, it's then that we instantly clicked - being that she was pretty much the only other xhosa-speaking individual I found, but what attracted me to her was her sincerity and overall intelligence. Anyway, please have a look through the below to get to know this lovely creature :)


Press for Zai: Zai Maya Interview and Bio

Facebook: DJ Zai Maya's Facebook Page