Queer Eye For Society's Eye

I'd like to start off this post by thanking all those gay-friendly straight men out there, you guys are really the future and I tip my hat off to you...Now let's get back to business, I've been trying to steer away from this topic for quite some time because I don't think I've gathered as much experience in this topic as I need to however I've seen some very disturbing news lately which has prompted me to go ahead regardless, after all what the heck more experience do I need than just being gay already in a generally homophobic society.

Growing up there was one word that would set my temper aflame and that was the word "Moffie" in other parts of the world the favored term was and still is "faggot" but the "M" word was the one that made me feel dirty and disgusting and as I grew older to understand the world I realised it wasn't so much the word as much as it was the looks on people's faces (including kids) when they said it, it looked like they were chewing sh*t and couldn't find a way to spit it out but by saying the "M" word. In primary school that word followed me around like a fly on a mission, wherever I went it was THAT word, what I found more interesting was that adults were saying it to me too and I was not even old enough to understand why adults were acting like school-children. Once I was walking home from school and this man approached me and spat (yes I mean he actually spat) the "M" word in my face and I remember looking at him like he was crazy, I mean yes I am a moffie, great...what's the f*cking point? Why don't you tell me the aftermath of using the word...If by saying it repeatedly till I predict who's the homophobe and who isn't is the aim then well done, 20 claps for you, you've succeeded...but my burning question for all of them was "okay I am a moffie, but what is the point of telling me who and what I am?I know that now...half the world told me but what's your point mister?"...No one really ever came up with the answer to my question and that's how I learned to laugh at THEM! I got a bit too big for my boots one point because at times when you laugh back at them they turn to violence as a solution to shut you up, yet again another reason to laugh at them - they can't take their own medicine and yet they can throw the sticks and stones high and hard with aim...

Violence in this world creates more violence, it is never a means to an end, I've witnessed violence at home, I myself have used violence as an outlet - a way to make them shut up, but it never truly works and the feeling after you've embraced violence is terrible, you feel like you're the one less human they keep talking about in certain negative sayings. There aren't two different worlds, we live,eat breathe the same of everything so as far as I'm concerned the only difference is opinion and preference.

I am not perfect nor will I ever claim to be perfect but I am strong and I won't be ashamed to say that to anybody, I've worked hard to become who I am, I've suffered many emotional slams but it made me who I am today and I hope that I can reach someone else out there locked up tight in that stuffy closet thinking they're doing themselves a favor by pleasing the masses not really registering the emotional damage they're doing to themselves long-term...So please for the sake of my sanity before I plead insanity - Just BE!

With Love

Mrs.Carter and the Beyhive

This is the year of the Bee and yo ass betta watch out or you gonna get stung! I've always been an avid supporter of the Texan native and this time around she delivers over and above what I expected from her vocally and performance-wise! Whilst she's still currently busy with her Mrs.Carter tour I've decided to dedicate this post to the Beyhive supporters that continually stand for the Queen and give her all the love she deserves and I've decided to include a couple of entertaining videos from the Beyhive themselves (Courtesy of YouTube)...Please show your support below :)

Grown Woman:

I hope you enjoyed...More to come :)

Big.Beautiful.Women

Picture This: An Elle magazine is lying on the table, slim and trim model blankly staring at you and a hopeless individual trying everything they can to be THAT model or at least to get to THAT size regardless of the consequences and added health risks...If you've ever been that woman, then this is the post for you...

For a long time growing up I too have struggled with my weight, yes me, a guy...anyways, it all started once I hit puberty, I was prepping for swimming (one of our Primary School requirements of doing Sports) until I realized that my speedos didn't fit the same anymore and my stomach had shape, I remember feeling so uncomfortable to be the kid with the big butt and hips amongst the other boys who hadn't really developed the way I had,it was embarassing to say the least and hence my battle with the bulge began. I knew many others who went through the very same thing, choosing to wear the color black because it slims you, choosing to be safe and to wear the XL t-shirt because you don't want people seeing it accentuate your curves, or what about the time where you end up eating half the portion of food you're used to because your blind date saw the picture you took at a good angle and was surprised at your size, we can grab a lot of humor from these situations and we can also learn a lot about the effect of how negative influences can brainwash us too at times.

I have met a lot of different types of people and with each person I meet comes a different stereotype they face. I must say I have mucho respect for full-figured women, their strength and courage is amazing, as i'm typing this I have one in particular in mind - for her own privacy I won't mention her name, but she's FABOLOUS! I remember us partying together and for each time and each club we rocked up at the men were drooling and that for me was quite the surprise, I mean we live in a world where I've overheard guys drooling over the super-skinny model or the chick with the blonde hair that it came as such a surprise that REAL men like REAL women...Now I aint dissing the guys that prefer the smaller woman but I have to shout out those who are openly looking for a specifically fuller woman, they've claimed that they get far better satisfaction out of the BBW than the skinny model-thin chick, as Beyonce said in her recent track "Grown Woman" - You really wanna know how I got it like that / 'Cause I got a cute face / And my booty so fat. In order to make it in the world nowadays you need to have bones of steel and once the brick-house of stereotypes comes crumbling down on you is when your true test of self and inner strength gets tested.

My last word to anyone out there thinking about putting themselves through endless amounts of torture and pain is to ask yourself if this is really you? Are you trying to please your hater or are you trying to please you because at the end of the day no one else knows your heart nor do they know your worth but as most inspirational quotes say - "Beauty radiates from the inside out"...Now go on ahead and be BEAUTIFUL!

P.S. Please visit Pinterest to get some further visual stimulation of dem big gals:
Pinterest - Big Beautiful Women
 
Please show some love to one of my fave groups on Facebook: BigBoldBeautifulWomen

With Love...

First Day Being Gay...told in a funny way :)

Remember the day you came out? The day you opened that closet that blocked you out of the world of the living,that day you skipped like a pansy and swayed like a palm tree? Yup, that was your day and it was a glorious day because you were re-born, re-introduced, fresh and revived! This was your day, your new birthday and for some the very last time they felt so happy and elated being a gay man.

Now to be equipped in this lovely pink world of ours you'll need to arm yourself from other opportunists just waiting to sweep you off your feet and carry you to the land of Oz.

let me tell it to you straight, if you're handsome and built like Hercules before Creatine became his enemy at age 50 then you're about to become a celebrity, well done to you, 20 claps! As for the rest of us mere mortals struggling to hide our enjoyment at the sight and smell of a triple decker pizza from Debonairs - we have much work to do! remember, this is survival now...no one said being Gay was gonna be easy...You ready?

First off it's all about the look, you'll need to transform from drab to being grabbed at all angles! Start from your hair and work your way down and always keep in mind that if you're not doing this for yourself then at least you'll reach celebrity status and grab the attention of the 20-year old Hercules who wouldn't even glance you half-dead lying near a gutter. Once you're sure that your concoction of a look is satisfying then your next test would be to go from "clueless and dull" to "interesting and sophisticated" (keep in mind, we're competing with Hercules to get Hercules).

If you're out on a night alone because all your straight guy friends have disowned you and nobody saw you pull out your wallet to grab any interest anyway then you'll need to be wary of those creeps that eyed you the moment you walked into the bar hoping that you'll either leave your drink unattended long enough for them to "slip something in" or until you get desperate and make small talk with them just so that you don't fall back into the "clueless and dull" category. Yes boys and ladyboys, you need to keep your eyes open and always vigilant of "predators"...Phew, it's almost time for you to bag Hercules!

The clock strikes 4 (typical time for any gay bar to start closing) and you're dripping with sweat, you smell like a can of Sardines and you've come out of your little cocoon, you've met some guys and and swopped a few numbers, wow don't you feel like something amazing right now...go on, pat yourself on the back because in all this time Hercules has kept a little eye on you without you realizing...You've officially made it!!!! Welcome, enjoy your stay...take some breaths...you have an image to build and a legacy to start,if you start to feel unsure or dizzy - too bad! there's pressure on both sides...not always easy to just be, the show must go on and the masks put on tight...smile now, the camera's flashing and Hercules approaches...

If you want my advice, keep it real, keep it you, I hope you enjoyed a birds-eye view into a beautifully controversial world :)

With Love...

My Farm Weekend

This past weekend I was at a gorgeous farm in Yservontein and it was the perfect getaway...There was no electricity but that's where the fun is, it was the perfect balance of peace and quiet.

From the Friday night myself and a mate had come down with the common cold and had sniffles so we had mutually agreed that going anywhere was not going to be a possibility and stayed in to recover however we did get to sit out and have some casual conversation whilst the radio blared in the background - strategically tuned to 567 FM by my friend.

Saturday was a glorious day that we decided to do a little tour of the town and it was absolutely amazing, I got to see some of the beach and caught sight of some HOT surfers down the way, I admit I was a little unhappy with all the seashells I had to walk over as my shoes weren't accustomed to nature but it all worked out in the end! I even got over my fear of heights and climbed over low rocks to strike a pose! In the evening it was all set...we were going to the bar to mingle with the locals and it was a HOOT! Being that I was probably the only black BEAUTIFUL guy seen there may have come as a little bit of a surprise to me strangely because they weren't too bovvered with lil ole me :)

Sadly with all good things they must come to a tragic end and it's with a heavy heart that I write today because I discovered something whilst there and that was the freedom to allow my mind to explore different things, see different things and discover another side to myself I didn't think existed, every now and again we need to get away and just let nature take care of the rest. I do encourage that more people try to do this from time to time, the city is exciting and all but there's more in being Dora the Explorer and exposing yourself to the colors of the wind than the wind-machine at Crew Bar (just saying)...

With love...

To be...or not to be Part 1

I'm sure many of you have asked yourselves the question "when is it MY turn"? I know I have.

I'll be honest, when I was about 5 years old (typical age everyone discovers this) I used to take my little radio while my grandmother was working and tune it to the Indian Radio Station and copy what they sang or did and for a while that's all I listened to...I was in my own happy world and before long I tried singing...Now as a child I didn't quite know if the sound that came out of my mouth was singing as yet and this was put to the test the day I met one of my soulmates mother and I sang the Titanic Theme Song for them, for me it was an interesting moment and a huge turn-around for me.

Of course with this newfound talent I wasn't always confident the rest of the world thought I could sing so I turned to my next love which was acting! And for many years to come since childhood I had enrolled in a lot of plays and decided that my singing would be a hobby instead which backfired on me because as I grew, so did the love and sound and it became a lot more known than I really wanted it to be.

As a kid I was sensetive to what people said around me and most of what I used to hear was "get a job and get your head out of the clouds" or "singing won't put food on your plate,forget about it", of course I had my support system and I loved them more for their encouragement but I was really more interested in what people I didn't know had to say and why, which I think is a mistake most of us make, no matter how much our loved ones try we sometimes tend to listen to the world instead.

Stay tuned for my 2nd installment of this story coming soon...

Internet Dating...How much of it is real?

So this is probably the most cliché topic on earth but I myself have fallen prey to many an “internet-date” believe it or not and this would probably be due to the fact that as humans at certain times in our lives we crave a little attention and what better attention than from an unknown handsome stranger from another cyber planet to tell us how beautiful we look or sound (BB Voice-note anybody?)...Yes, let's admit it girls AND boys that we have at some point or another had that little flutter of excitement when reading those messages from our cyber admirer, I in fact have a story or two to tell. I am always one to make sure that if anything I have ONLY my best pictures put up on any profile of mine just so that I can attract the cream of the crop to drop a line and say hi...Sadly that is not always the case, you get some people that look like they crept out of a bottle of emulsion and then some who don't know how to string two words to make a sentence and you're stuck modifying your search options or lowering your standards. This guy added me randomly on BB and I was immediately struck by his green-eyes, forget the fact that I didn't know him from a salty cracker but I overlooked that because he had gorgeous green eyes and that for me clinched the deal...Yes we eventually did this wonderful thing called talking but I caught myself not really reading what he was saying because I was far more worried about how tall he was or if he had washboard abs...I know what you're thinking – what a vain b*tch! From my mouth to your ears – Get thineself over thee! Anyway back to my story, so after a while (5 days) he told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, I threw a lot of questions his way hoping to slow him down and make him delay a bit until I got to meet him and see for myself if he was Prince Charming or a frog with green eyes but he kept at it and to some point or degree started getting serious and depressed, he turned to alcohol and threatened suicide, I kid you not! The guy was like “I can't live without you blah blah blah” and I have never been so turned off in my life! I mean how can a pretty face turn so lethal in a matter of days and that's when I realised that it was far easier to get drunk in a club and accidentally slip into someone's arms on the dancefloor! Anyway I ended up deleting him from my BB and have now stuck to ASRL instead...it gets to the point and it's not personal when you “accidentally” remove them from your contact list :) Do it...Don't do it, at the end of the day it's up to your better judgement what the outcome of that situation is...

Introduction : So now I'm a Blogger?

From day one I told myself I would never succumb to the world of Social Blogging, I found it to be a tedious and time-consuming process,I mean where in hell would I find the time to write about "interesting" and compelling things I've either experienced or thought about? However I am a day-dreamer by default so I figured that If I've got enough time to ride on a white horse into a valley of nude soldiers then I could give my fingers a chance to type up something that I might look back on and feel some sort of achievement and self-satisfaction to a certain degree.