My Apology

To my avid readers I would like to apologize for taking so long with my blog, I had so many different exciting ideas with the way my ten-part story would be delivered from part six onwards but unfortunately due to time and a few changes in life I will have to put it on the back-burner until I can sort the minor details out. For those who have only just found my blog, please feel free to browse the previous stories written including my own life story and don't be scared to share,share, SHARE!!! :)

Who Is Leen Kahn? - Part 1 (In The Beginning)

The year was 1988 and in the summer of February 21st my mother gave birth to me in Cape Town, South Africa and I was named Mzwabantu Lincoln Mzwakali.

My mother at that time was a young woman who had been a singer/dancer in a group that she had met and befriended my father, they were destined for greatness but at that point she had started to show in her pregnancy and had to eventually quit the group. My mother was one of six children and the youngest of them all, she was raised and bred by my grandmother from the start even though my grandfather was around until she was at least 7 years old and then he left. My grandparents were married for many years but due to issues in their marriage they parted ways and my grandmother was left to fend for her kids, some of which ended up living with relatives. As quickly as I was born a lot of people started asking questions about who my father was and my mother at that time had been steadily dating someone other than my father the assumption was that it was him, however my father knew otherwise and decided to confront her about it, she ended up denying it and cut him off from being a part of my life. During this time my grandmother decided that it would be better if she took care of me instead of my mother because she was not ready to fulfil the duties of a mother, at this time she was working and sleeping in town and that became my new home for years to come.

From as early as I can remember the house used to have all sorts of new families renting it and with each family a bond was formed, the one I can remember most distinctly whom I still call family to this day is a french family who stayed a little longer than a year in the house, they treated me like their own and my grandmother was as good as part of the family, they used to take me to trips all over Cape Town and spoil me rotten with clothes from France and toys galore. Around the age of five or six I met a german boy who used to live opposite the house, we fast became best friends and we did everything together, I was a bit of a loner during creche and primary school so it was always refreshing to come home to him, I also made friends with an amazing family of people that immediately accepted me as one of their own, I remember I met their mother in Checkers (when it JUST opened) and I was nagging to my grandmother that I wanted the Lion King video but she wasn't having any of that (Boss Lady!) until this lovely lady came up to us and told us she also had kids and that she could make a copy of Lion King for me, that was all it took and after our first visit I became a constant nuisance. Kids used to always make fun of me for many different reasons during creche and Primary School, I was a sensetive child so I used to take what they said to heart and this developed my temper. Outside of school my grandmother enrolled me in a child-modeling agency and at one point my agent was moving to the US so she begged my grandmother to take me with, she promised to make me bigger than I was, however my grandmother was fearful of what might happen to me without her supervision and young as I was she wanted to see me complete my schooling and make such a decision at a later stage. During all this time my relationship with my mother was very distant, she was physically abusive and an alcoholic and we forever kept knocking heads but I was always safe when I was in town, to the point where I begged my grandmother to leave me in town on weekends so that I didn't have to see her, of course that privilege only came when I could prove to my gran that I could look after myself.

In my first year in Primary school I had an episode with my Sub A teacher, I had needed to use the bathroom and she told me to keep quiet and wait till break, I decided that the wee was too much to hold in and I asked her again to let me go, she still refused and in my first moment of defiance of anger I decided to let it go and peed right there in my seat and gave her THAT look, that was the quickest I got my mouth washed out with soap! Next was another teacher in Sub B who called me stupid for losing a book, now this lady was a chain-smoker of note who shouldn't have considered teaching at all, she was the epitomy of pure evil, when this lost book situation happened she humiliated me in front of the entire class and demanded I either look for the book or leave her class, of course I found the book – where SHE had left it! Now as you guys have gathered my mother and I were never on good terms however when my gran told her of someone making me upset that was the quickest she came to my defence about the matter, after school she marched right into my classroom unannounced and closed the door behind her with me outside peeking through the keyhole, all I can say about my mother is that when she got angry the air around her became electric, so you can imagine how my teacher must've felt. After that incident I saw her in a different light but I was also wary because she never showed me another side to her, she was a puzzle to me that I could never figure – not for a long time anyway.

(To be continued...)

The Good Man

This is the year 2013 and reality has sunk into my bones that there's a huge shortage of good men out there and with technology constantly breaking new ground there's also less imagination left, however I can't deny that there will always be a good man out there, problem is finding them and keeping them.

In my younger days I was easily manipulated by the man who possessed power and wasn't afraid to show it, the man who would woo me with materialistic things that would entice my hungry and sometimes wild imagination, however what was really lacking in those times was honesty, I was practically being bought and I eventually stopped liking it. In the world we're living in money is a constant obstacle that can put pressure on the strongest of characters, we all long for financial security and peace of mind which sometimes may come in the form of a man who comes bearing these lovely gifts and you end up making a choice of convenience instead of following your heart.

I am one of the toughest people to date, I'm not shy about the physical things but when it comes to my heart there's too many obstacles to get through and after the first one most guys (if not all) give up and move on, I'm not saying that I'm immune to love or be loved however I'm no longer as naïve as I used to be, most of what's on a mans mind is pretty clear and instead of letting him get all of me, I'll choose to give him a moment he'll think about from time to time while I reserve the best of me for me, in the end we both win – with regards to the physical.

Now back in the day men had to work really hard to get the attention of their love interest, they'd do the silliest things in order to make that person smile which would be more than enough for them and they'd leave tomorrow for a possible kiss (on the cheek)...However nowadays the only flowers you get are the ones in emoticon form and communication is more exciting in pictures and BBM status messages, some need to face the facts that his reputation might be more exciting than you. 

Now let's do a complete 360 and talk about the man we want to get, I don't want people to get me wrong on this post, I don't expect the poor guy to fight with a lion to prove his love to me or even to prove it at all (totally negotiable) however there will be expectations which will set him apart from the scrubs. Personally all I want is for them to be real, to come as they are and provide me that emotional, mental and spiritual happiness, someone who won't be afraid of me or my way of thought, someone who can indulge in a new adventure and motivate me to rise above, someone who can listen to me sing sad songs and wipe the tears from my face...Yes boys and girls, I don't want much, I just want someone who isn't scared to wear new shoes and take care of them for years to come, even plants need nurturing and they don't ask for too much. Everything takes effort but everything that took effort becomes worthwhile and the mission you had getting to happy seems more necessary.

One thing to always remember is that when you got yourself a good man, to never become what you didn't like with your previous partners, sometimes they leave traces and tendencies we pick up without knowing and we end up being the exact replica of what we were continuously trying to avoid...Be real, free and allow yourself to be loved by that man...

Dear Ex-best Friend

Dear Ex-Best Friend

We met in High School around 2004 and we hit it off instantly, you were my first real gay friend I could tell anything to and you were the best company at that time. We were always there for each other, we fought each others battles and we were deeply involved with each other's familes...in fact you were one of the few people my grandmother approved of and it felt good to have that confirmation from the Boss Lady.

We Matriculated together and you were the one who convinced me to go to Johannesburg with you, in actual fact I remember not being too sure if I could make that leap seeing as that I had never left Cape Town or my grandmother before and this also meant I would actually be alone without supervision, not much work experience and about less than R3000 in my pocket, however we made it work and I was fine because you were my bestie and we were doing this together.

Before Johannesburg there were certain episodes we went through, you always chose to direct your anger towards the nearest person and that sadly used to be me, however as your friend I took it upon myself to console you...If we ever went out and I happened to like a guy by the end of the night he was on your arm and I let that always slide, no one can be blamed for that but that's where I started noticing a trend. Believe it or not I stopped being jealous after the third time you did this because I got to know the guys you were involved with and we too became friends, the problem was when you broke up with them, it was usually because you felt victimized by them or that they weren't right for you, I'll admit, as the person that used to have both views of the relationship there were times when they were wrong and most times when YOU were wrong but never admitted to it.

Our stay in JHB was pleasant until your mother came and lived with us, she turned you around completely, she blamed me for so many untrue things and the worst part is that you believed me – back then I was grateful for that but it was also the beginning of the end because you chose sides and unfortunately for our friendship more events took place which made us drift apart emotionally and on a friendship level.

The day our friendship ended a new one began and still is in place, I'm not saying any of this to spite you but to make it clear that although you still blame me for the greatest decision in both our lives it worked out for the best in my opinion, all these events were leading up to that day, tears were shed...In all honesty you have a lot of growing up to do but I wish you well in all your endeavors...I'm not the bad person you've told people I am...I was just a better friend in the end.

Dear Ex

Dear Ex High-School Sweetheart...

Everything was so damn good in the beginning, your love and attention was really required and needed at that time, I had so many doubts about you but you gave me no indication that I'd be hurt by you in the end so I began to trust you. I remember the first day we met, I was naïve and silly, you were confident and handsome so naturally I took a liking to you however at that time you had a man and I was content being friends with you whilst I was secretly harboring a crush on you.

As time went by and things turned sour for your boyfriend (then) you finally saw me and I felt special. You used to write me letters while we were in class together and I returned the favor, I couldn't care less what others had to say or think because I was content with your attention. You had a different plan however with me, you wanted me physically and I caught onto that a little sooner than you thought so then you switched it up and played with my emotions, made me feel like the bad guy and constantly kept dropping hints about your other life. I took it like a pro because I convinced myself that you were the one and even if you weren't I'd prove everyone wrong and make you the one if I had to, however I just could never bring myself to give you what you truly wanted, I guess I wanted to see if it would make me worth it to you...How wrong I really was...

I remember that night on the beach where you requested a moment alone with me to try and convince me that you'll finally let everyone know that we was kicking it...however I became boo-boo the fool once again when I heard about all your other shenanigans...oh yes, that letter you wrote me detailing the things you were doing behind my back was discovered by my grandmother – she asked questions and afterwards burned the letter, I'm so glad she did...she never liked you anyway :)

So to end this off, when I told you I was going to Johannesburg to start a new life you asked me a question “what about me?”...I could've told you to go to hell or better yet just removed you from my life entirely, instead I chose to keep you around so you could truly see how happy I was and I think you did...wherever you are, I know you regret hurting me...but not to worry, I forgave you a long time ago...However this is me reminding you of what took me years to forget...

Father's Day - Shout Out

This past weekend a lot of families celebrated Father's Day which I think is a beautiful celebration of the good fathers out there that take care of their families and raise their children every step of the way...I simply forgot to wish my own the happy day and this was also partially to the fact that I have always reserved this day for my Grandmother, she in my eyes was both the father and mother I never had and no one else deserves the congratulations as much as she does.

Although this day is reserved for the good fathers out there I think the good grannies and good mothers out there can also take something from it, raising a child as a single parent is not easy, you have the worries and concerns of your child's well-being always at the forefront of your mind and I know most parents worry what their children would think of them if they were to fail them at fulfilling their parental duties...Bringing them into the world is easy (sometimes), raising them however is the real mission.

#Comet Family - Teaser 2

                                              More to come soon :)

#Comet Family: Close-up with Gilbert

Gilbert is one of the founders of the Comet Family and we start to get to know a little bit more about him in the close-up video below, please stay tuned and support our Portuguese import as he dazzles us with his charm, enjoy:

You can follow him on Twitter: Gilbert Twitter

#CometFamily: Teaser 1

 

Featuring:

Cici Stylez

Gilbert

Leen-Kahn

Kyle Clark

Dane Clark

The Comet Family: Coming Soon

Screw lightning...something bigger is on the way

#Staytuned

The Survivor

 

There aren't many people I really look up to but there are many I admire and for those I admire it's always for their strength and resilience...We as people go through so many trials and tribulations to get to our own personal goals or even to get away from whatever was bringing us down into a pool of negativity...



What is a survivor? and what does that mean in this day and age? I for one consider myself a survivor...not because I survived the bigger things but because I know how to prepare for the little setbacks life continues to throw at us and trust me, as little as they are they can do some serious long-term damage. I look at the current news today and what I see saddens me, people being beaten up for being who they want to be, women being violated and humilated, children being born into a country going through famines and war...I look at these situations and thank my lucky stars that I got a different start to my life, it wasn't easy I tell you...I've slipped so many times but I continue to remind myself of the bigger picture.
My grandmother used to always tell me to keep myself grounded and not let my head get the better of me now at that time I never quite understood what she meant – I mean this woman would have fat conversations with homeless people and drag me all around interesting places with interesting people and I remember getting so irritated with her because I used to think they stank and were not worth the time, but she showed me a different side to these people, believe it or not they were barely surviving but with what little they had they were coming along somehow and I could never see myself doing the same, even after the time I had a huge blow-out with my grandmother and I ran away from home in hopes that she'd leave me to die in some ditch but that woman had superhuman powers and when she found me I was reminded of how selfish and bratty I had acted, here I was not yet seeing a very big picture...Just lil ole me and my world living in a bubble I felt was too small and I needed it to pop and indeed it did...
In my teens, I met the wrong crowd of people, they lured me in with kindness and the party-attitude and as naïve as I was I fell for it, I always told myself to see the good in people regardless of what people thought of them but as much as my instincts kept telling me that this was a bad idea I told myself this was the freedom I was craving, away from responsibility, away from my family and into a world of my own and so it began the rise and fall. I listen to that Destiny's Child song “Survivor” and all the memories come rushing back like a flood...I think my biggest moment of maturity and understanding of life was when my mother died. I was never close to her as much as my brothers were and we had a distant relationship from the start ( but that's all I'm going to give you nosey people) and the day she passed away I didn't shed a single tear, not at the funeral, not a year later and not the year after that because I was too busy playing Big Brother to my younger brothers and handling my grandmothers affairs, I was being a grown up 12-year old boy, it wasn't easy but I was up for the challenge and for most of my life up until recently I was always taking care of someone else and making them my full responsibility leaving little time for me to act my own age...I've dealt with much more than I will allow myself to blog about – it's too early to give my bio out just yet but I have taken all these experiences and formulated a tool for myself and created the stronger individual I am now and I see that in all those other people who walk around with big boulders on their shoulder...I see some who put on these masks of plastic fakeness hiding behind their looks thinking that no one can see beneath the facade, but some (not many) can see and those beautiful individuals I consider and today still call friends.
With love...

P.S. - the track that inspired this post, Enjoy :)

Mrs.Carter and the Beyhive Part 2

So remember when I blogged a post about the Beyhive? As promised here is the 2nd segment to that post, enjoy below and please show your support to them :)

I absolutely love these! I'll certainly be adding my own Youtube cover soon but for now go #BEYHIVE


With Love...

~ The Kahn

We have a new addition!!!

She's a singer...she's a Female Hip-Hop DJ...Ladies and gentlebodies,I am happy to announce that we have another Author added to this blog and she goes by none other than the name Zai Maya.

I've known Zai since the days when we used to work at a Corporate company in Johannesburg, it's then that we instantly clicked - being that she was pretty much the only other xhosa-speaking individual I found, but what attracted me to her was her sincerity and overall intelligence. Anyway, please have a look through the below to get to know this lovely creature :)


Press for Zai: Zai Maya Interview and Bio

Facebook: DJ Zai Maya's Facebook Page

Queer Eye For Society's Eye

I'd like to start off this post by thanking all those gay-friendly straight men out there, you guys are really the future and I tip my hat off to you...Now let's get back to business, I've been trying to steer away from this topic for quite some time because I don't think I've gathered as much experience in this topic as I need to however I've seen some very disturbing news lately which has prompted me to go ahead regardless, after all what the heck more experience do I need than just being gay already in a generally homophobic society.

Growing up there was one word that would set my temper aflame and that was the word "Moffie" in other parts of the world the favored term was and still is "faggot" but the "M" word was the one that made me feel dirty and disgusting and as I grew older to understand the world I realised it wasn't so much the word as much as it was the looks on people's faces (including kids) when they said it, it looked like they were chewing sh*t and couldn't find a way to spit it out but by saying the "M" word. In primary school that word followed me around like a fly on a mission, wherever I went it was THAT word, what I found more interesting was that adults were saying it to me too and I was not even old enough to understand why adults were acting like school-children. Once I was walking home from school and this man approached me and spat (yes I mean he actually spat) the "M" word in my face and I remember looking at him like he was crazy, I mean yes I am a moffie, great...what's the f*cking point? Why don't you tell me the aftermath of using the word...If by saying it repeatedly till I predict who's the homophobe and who isn't is the aim then well done, 20 claps for you, you've succeeded...but my burning question for all of them was "okay I am a moffie, but what is the point of telling me who and what I am?I know that now...half the world told me but what's your point mister?"...No one really ever came up with the answer to my question and that's how I learned to laugh at THEM! I got a bit too big for my boots one point because at times when you laugh back at them they turn to violence as a solution to shut you up, yet again another reason to laugh at them - they can't take their own medicine and yet they can throw the sticks and stones high and hard with aim...

Violence in this world creates more violence, it is never a means to an end, I've witnessed violence at home, I myself have used violence as an outlet - a way to make them shut up, but it never truly works and the feeling after you've embraced violence is terrible, you feel like you're the one less human they keep talking about in certain negative sayings. There aren't two different worlds, we live,eat breathe the same of everything so as far as I'm concerned the only difference is opinion and preference.

I am not perfect nor will I ever claim to be perfect but I am strong and I won't be ashamed to say that to anybody, I've worked hard to become who I am, I've suffered many emotional slams but it made me who I am today and I hope that I can reach someone else out there locked up tight in that stuffy closet thinking they're doing themselves a favor by pleasing the masses not really registering the emotional damage they're doing to themselves long-term...So please for the sake of my sanity before I plead insanity - Just BE!

With Love

Mrs.Carter and the Beyhive

This is the year of the Bee and yo ass betta watch out or you gonna get stung! I've always been an avid supporter of the Texan native and this time around she delivers over and above what I expected from her vocally and performance-wise! Whilst she's still currently busy with her Mrs.Carter tour I've decided to dedicate this post to the Beyhive supporters that continually stand for the Queen and give her all the love she deserves and I've decided to include a couple of entertaining videos from the Beyhive themselves (Courtesy of YouTube)...Please show your support below :)

Grown Woman:

I hope you enjoyed...More to come :)

Big.Beautiful.Women

Picture This: An Elle magazine is lying on the table, slim and trim model blankly staring at you and a hopeless individual trying everything they can to be THAT model or at least to get to THAT size regardless of the consequences and added health risks...If you've ever been that woman, then this is the post for you...

For a long time growing up I too have struggled with my weight, yes me, a guy...anyways, it all started once I hit puberty, I was prepping for swimming (one of our Primary School requirements of doing Sports) until I realized that my speedos didn't fit the same anymore and my stomach had shape, I remember feeling so uncomfortable to be the kid with the big butt and hips amongst the other boys who hadn't really developed the way I had,it was embarassing to say the least and hence my battle with the bulge began. I knew many others who went through the very same thing, choosing to wear the color black because it slims you, choosing to be safe and to wear the XL t-shirt because you don't want people seeing it accentuate your curves, or what about the time where you end up eating half the portion of food you're used to because your blind date saw the picture you took at a good angle and was surprised at your size, we can grab a lot of humor from these situations and we can also learn a lot about the effect of how negative influences can brainwash us too at times.

I have met a lot of different types of people and with each person I meet comes a different stereotype they face. I must say I have mucho respect for full-figured women, their strength and courage is amazing, as i'm typing this I have one in particular in mind - for her own privacy I won't mention her name, but she's FABOLOUS! I remember us partying together and for each time and each club we rocked up at the men were drooling and that for me was quite the surprise, I mean we live in a world where I've overheard guys drooling over the super-skinny model or the chick with the blonde hair that it came as such a surprise that REAL men like REAL women...Now I aint dissing the guys that prefer the smaller woman but I have to shout out those who are openly looking for a specifically fuller woman, they've claimed that they get far better satisfaction out of the BBW than the skinny model-thin chick, as Beyonce said in her recent track "Grown Woman" - You really wanna know how I got it like that / 'Cause I got a cute face / And my booty so fat. In order to make it in the world nowadays you need to have bones of steel and once the brick-house of stereotypes comes crumbling down on you is when your true test of self and inner strength gets tested.

My last word to anyone out there thinking about putting themselves through endless amounts of torture and pain is to ask yourself if this is really you? Are you trying to please your hater or are you trying to please you because at the end of the day no one else knows your heart nor do they know your worth but as most inspirational quotes say - "Beauty radiates from the inside out"...Now go on ahead and be BEAUTIFUL!

P.S. Please visit Pinterest to get some further visual stimulation of dem big gals:
Pinterest - Big Beautiful Women
 
Please show some love to one of my fave groups on Facebook: BigBoldBeautifulWomen

With Love...

First Day Being Gay...told in a funny way :)

Remember the day you came out? The day you opened that closet that blocked you out of the world of the living,that day you skipped like a pansy and swayed like a palm tree? Yup, that was your day and it was a glorious day because you were re-born, re-introduced, fresh and revived! This was your day, your new birthday and for some the very last time they felt so happy and elated being a gay man.

Now to be equipped in this lovely pink world of ours you'll need to arm yourself from other opportunists just waiting to sweep you off your feet and carry you to the land of Oz.

let me tell it to you straight, if you're handsome and built like Hercules before Creatine became his enemy at age 50 then you're about to become a celebrity, well done to you, 20 claps! As for the rest of us mere mortals struggling to hide our enjoyment at the sight and smell of a triple decker pizza from Debonairs - we have much work to do! remember, this is survival now...no one said being Gay was gonna be easy...You ready?

First off it's all about the look, you'll need to transform from drab to being grabbed at all angles! Start from your hair and work your way down and always keep in mind that if you're not doing this for yourself then at least you'll reach celebrity status and grab the attention of the 20-year old Hercules who wouldn't even glance you half-dead lying near a gutter. Once you're sure that your concoction of a look is satisfying then your next test would be to go from "clueless and dull" to "interesting and sophisticated" (keep in mind, we're competing with Hercules to get Hercules).

If you're out on a night alone because all your straight guy friends have disowned you and nobody saw you pull out your wallet to grab any interest anyway then you'll need to be wary of those creeps that eyed you the moment you walked into the bar hoping that you'll either leave your drink unattended long enough for them to "slip something in" or until you get desperate and make small talk with them just so that you don't fall back into the "clueless and dull" category. Yes boys and ladyboys, you need to keep your eyes open and always vigilant of "predators"...Phew, it's almost time for you to bag Hercules!

The clock strikes 4 (typical time for any gay bar to start closing) and you're dripping with sweat, you smell like a can of Sardines and you've come out of your little cocoon, you've met some guys and and swopped a few numbers, wow don't you feel like something amazing right now...go on, pat yourself on the back because in all this time Hercules has kept a little eye on you without you realizing...You've officially made it!!!! Welcome, enjoy your stay...take some breaths...you have an image to build and a legacy to start,if you start to feel unsure or dizzy - too bad! there's pressure on both sides...not always easy to just be, the show must go on and the masks put on tight...smile now, the camera's flashing and Hercules approaches...

If you want my advice, keep it real, keep it you, I hope you enjoyed a birds-eye view into a beautifully controversial world :)

With Love...

My Farm Weekend

This past weekend I was at a gorgeous farm in Yservontein and it was the perfect getaway...There was no electricity but that's where the fun is, it was the perfect balance of peace and quiet.

From the Friday night myself and a mate had come down with the common cold and had sniffles so we had mutually agreed that going anywhere was not going to be a possibility and stayed in to recover however we did get to sit out and have some casual conversation whilst the radio blared in the background - strategically tuned to 567 FM by my friend.

Saturday was a glorious day that we decided to do a little tour of the town and it was absolutely amazing, I got to see some of the beach and caught sight of some HOT surfers down the way, I admit I was a little unhappy with all the seashells I had to walk over as my shoes weren't accustomed to nature but it all worked out in the end! I even got over my fear of heights and climbed over low rocks to strike a pose! In the evening it was all set...we were going to the bar to mingle with the locals and it was a HOOT! Being that I was probably the only black BEAUTIFUL guy seen there may have come as a little bit of a surprise to me strangely because they weren't too bovvered with lil ole me :)

Sadly with all good things they must come to a tragic end and it's with a heavy heart that I write today because I discovered something whilst there and that was the freedom to allow my mind to explore different things, see different things and discover another side to myself I didn't think existed, every now and again we need to get away and just let nature take care of the rest. I do encourage that more people try to do this from time to time, the city is exciting and all but there's more in being Dora the Explorer and exposing yourself to the colors of the wind than the wind-machine at Crew Bar (just saying)...

With love...

To be...or not to be Part 1

I'm sure many of you have asked yourselves the question "when is it MY turn"? I know I have.

I'll be honest, when I was about 5 years old (typical age everyone discovers this) I used to take my little radio while my grandmother was working and tune it to the Indian Radio Station and copy what they sang or did and for a while that's all I listened to...I was in my own happy world and before long I tried singing...Now as a child I didn't quite know if the sound that came out of my mouth was singing as yet and this was put to the test the day I met one of my soulmates mother and I sang the Titanic Theme Song for them, for me it was an interesting moment and a huge turn-around for me.

Of course with this newfound talent I wasn't always confident the rest of the world thought I could sing so I turned to my next love which was acting! And for many years to come since childhood I had enrolled in a lot of plays and decided that my singing would be a hobby instead which backfired on me because as I grew, so did the love and sound and it became a lot more known than I really wanted it to be.

As a kid I was sensetive to what people said around me and most of what I used to hear was "get a job and get your head out of the clouds" or "singing won't put food on your plate,forget about it", of course I had my support system and I loved them more for their encouragement but I was really more interested in what people I didn't know had to say and why, which I think is a mistake most of us make, no matter how much our loved ones try we sometimes tend to listen to the world instead.

Stay tuned for my 2nd installment of this story coming soon...

Internet Dating...How much of it is real?

So this is probably the most cliché topic on earth but I myself have fallen prey to many an “internet-date” believe it or not and this would probably be due to the fact that as humans at certain times in our lives we crave a little attention and what better attention than from an unknown handsome stranger from another cyber planet to tell us how beautiful we look or sound (BB Voice-note anybody?)...Yes, let's admit it girls AND boys that we have at some point or another had that little flutter of excitement when reading those messages from our cyber admirer, I in fact have a story or two to tell. I am always one to make sure that if anything I have ONLY my best pictures put up on any profile of mine just so that I can attract the cream of the crop to drop a line and say hi...Sadly that is not always the case, you get some people that look like they crept out of a bottle of emulsion and then some who don't know how to string two words to make a sentence and you're stuck modifying your search options or lowering your standards. This guy added me randomly on BB and I was immediately struck by his green-eyes, forget the fact that I didn't know him from a salty cracker but I overlooked that because he had gorgeous green eyes and that for me clinched the deal...Yes we eventually did this wonderful thing called talking but I caught myself not really reading what he was saying because I was far more worried about how tall he was or if he had washboard abs...I know what you're thinking – what a vain b*tch! From my mouth to your ears – Get thineself over thee! Anyway back to my story, so after a while (5 days) he told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, I threw a lot of questions his way hoping to slow him down and make him delay a bit until I got to meet him and see for myself if he was Prince Charming or a frog with green eyes but he kept at it and to some point or degree started getting serious and depressed, he turned to alcohol and threatened suicide, I kid you not! The guy was like “I can't live without you blah blah blah” and I have never been so turned off in my life! I mean how can a pretty face turn so lethal in a matter of days and that's when I realised that it was far easier to get drunk in a club and accidentally slip into someone's arms on the dancefloor! Anyway I ended up deleting him from my BB and have now stuck to ASRL instead...it gets to the point and it's not personal when you “accidentally” remove them from your contact list :) Do it...Don't do it, at the end of the day it's up to your better judgement what the outcome of that situation is...

Introduction : So now I'm a Blogger?

From day one I told myself I would never succumb to the world of Social Blogging, I found it to be a tedious and time-consuming process,I mean where in hell would I find the time to write about "interesting" and compelling things I've either experienced or thought about? However I am a day-dreamer by default so I figured that If I've got enough time to ride on a white horse into a valley of nude soldiers then I could give my fingers a chance to type up something that I might look back on and feel some sort of achievement and self-satisfaction to a certain degree.