Growing up there was one word that would set my temper aflame and that was the word "Moffie" in other parts of the world the favored term was and still is "faggot" but the "M" word was the one that made me feel dirty and disgusting and as I grew older to understand the world I realised it wasn't so much the word as much as it was the looks on people's faces (including kids) when they said it, it looked like they were chewing sh*t and couldn't find a way to spit it out but by saying the "M" word. In primary school that word followed me around like a fly on a mission, wherever I went it was THAT word, what I found more interesting was that adults were saying it to me too and I was not even old enough to understand why adults were acting like school-children. Once I was walking home from school and this man approached me and spat (yes I mean he actually spat) the "M" word in my face and I remember looking at him like he was crazy, I mean yes I am a moffie, great...what's the f*cking point? Why don't you tell me the aftermath of using the word...If by saying it repeatedly till I predict who's the homophobe and who isn't is the aim then well done, 20 claps for you, you've succeeded...but my burning question for all of them was "okay I am a moffie, but what is the point of telling me who and what I am?I know that now...half the world told me but what's your point mister?"...No one really ever came up with the answer to my question and that's how I learned to laugh at THEM! I got a bit too big for my boots one point because at times when you laugh back at them they turn to violence as a solution to shut you up, yet again another reason to laugh at them - they can't take their own medicine and yet they can throw the sticks and stones high and hard with aim...
Violence in this world creates more violence, it is never a means to an end, I've witnessed violence at home, I myself have used violence as an outlet - a way to make them shut up, but it never truly works and the feeling after you've embraced violence is terrible, you feel like you're the one less human they keep talking about in certain negative sayings. There aren't two different worlds, we live,eat breathe the same of everything so as far as I'm concerned the only difference is opinion and preference.
I am not perfect nor will I ever claim to be perfect but I am strong and I won't be ashamed to say that to anybody, I've worked hard to become who I am, I've suffered many emotional slams but it made me who I am today and I hope that I can reach someone else out there locked up tight in that stuffy closet thinking they're doing themselves a favor by pleasing the masses not really registering the emotional damage they're doing to themselves long-term...So please for the sake of my sanity before I plead insanity - Just BE!
With Love
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